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That thread '5 things you don't see the f****** point of' had me in stitches. In a similar vein, things you would change if only you had the power, some trivial, some important, some stupid, mostly impractical. Here goes:
Football:
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Enforce the rule 'If you don't retreat 10 yards at a free kick, the ball is advanced 10 yards and the obstructing player is booked.' Repeat until a penalty is awarded.
If a player exaggerates a foul by diving (I'm looking at you Harry Kane and Mo Salah) or feigns injury when hardly touched (pretty much every player sadly), then they get booked even if they were fouled. Retrospective punishments for any missed by the ref.
Attacking team gets the option to take free kicks when they are ready, not when the the opposition is.
Sin bins.
Offside only if there is 1m daylight between the attacker's and defender's torso, not their f****** toenail.
Obstruction of the ball as it rolls out of play, would be a foul anywhere else on the pitch. Come on ref!
Subs to have their shin pads and shirts on BEFORE they are called to come on. Jesus Christ!
True financial fair play rules via a flat salary cap and a cap on the number of registered pros.
No smoking allowed in the technical area.
Is there really any good reason for the sprays of confetti for trophy winners? What a waste of resources. Same goes for those flame-throwers.
Crime
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Double the prison capacity. 6 to a cell should do it. It's not a holiday camp.
Eliminate drugs and phones from prisons. How hard can it be?
Seriously invest in the police force. We need to fill that prison capacity.
Seize and destroy any vehicles not only driven with no insurance, but without MOT, without proper license, driven by people over the drug and drink limit, engaged in dangerous driving. Yes I watch too much Road Wars and the like!
Maximum £1,000 fine every time for using a phone when driving.
Friends and relatives of victims of serious crimes get the option of 10 minutes with baseball bats to teach the convicted criminal some natural justice.
Householders are allowed to use ANY amount and method of force if they find intruders in their property, no questions asked.
People engaged in criminal activity lose all rights to protection under the law during that activity.
No second or third chance for the scrotes caught in possession of knives and other dangerous weapons - bang them up first time.
Maximum fines every time for fly-tippers.
"No comment" in a police interview, is an admission of guilt.
OK that will do for now.
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